Alter Ego

My eyes are sealed from the shadows of the storm, I am blinded where black and white collide. My tongue can’t sense the water dripping; for drought had taken its place. How I wish I am naïve not to notice the circumstances that is taken toil or just plainly dumb not to feel the weight of its pain. Fate is beyond my grasp and the burden is on the far side of my control. I cease to write for my demise is near but my thought urges me to take account of what are yester day’s and yester years. My experience speaks of thee verse of continues struggle and unending condition of worldly ache; and most oftentimes I feel and wish that I never come to existence. Forgive me for this foul words but this is the reality at this point in time: I am still uncertain of the unfathomable prospect tense.

I made a pact within myself not to write explicit judgment nor speak of lies since the day I find joy in writing. This is my passion and this is my sole confinement of hatred, anguished, frustration, pain, burden, awed, numb and delight. This is my life and I am writing it down the way it happened and the way I want my future will be. I write not to deceive you nor make you believe of the significance of each thought but simply laying it down what my soul wishes to speak.

So allow me to speak to you in chronicle that you might understand and grasp my very thought, your plain ordinary being who’s wishes are simple yet hard to attain. You’re a hypocrite that hides behind a smile and who loves to wear faces that people fail to notice and see the pain that you bore 30 years and counting. You speak of no lies and yet fooled yourself with deceits that in everything that you do you’re tough and sturdy but yet you cried late at night. You’re a tree that depends on its roots amidst of the storm and drought, yet you manage to shook it all and still remain unmoved have endure every scars and ache. You’re a person who has great heart for goodness but have been abuse consecutively by hungry pry that takes advantage of your strength and left you hanging shattered into pieces. At times you feel that God had forsaken you for putting you beyond its test but in the end of the day you called for His mercy and relays on His greatness.

For Christ sake listen and stop playing dump! Why in the world will you let yourself be a sacrifice of everything when in fact you and I are aware that you had too much to bear, why do you let yourself be hang and take the blame when we both knew that self-sacrifice are way too old and dumb to begin with.

Why do you always have to think of other people first rather than giving yourself its worth for all that we’ve been through. Make a stand and fight for your right we both deserve it after the hardship and cruelty that we have face! Tell me when will you ever learn and when will you have the courage to raise at every season!

Stop that! Don’t you dare push me away! I had to much of this misery, so shut up and let me preach! Now tell me honestly are you happy with this life or again are you the same hypocrite, deceitful to one’s self? All I ever wanted was for you to find that happiness that you truly earn be happy mike and stop pretending. You still have a life ahead of you.

ALTER-EGO

14June2012