Waiting

I think you are the sea that stretches out before me, where eternity lies on the horizon, and your beauty endures everlasting. You’re the vapor -- moist and cool, pouring yourself over me. As a wave's gentle rhythm, you come wrapping smoothly over my heart.

You are the heaven that pours perpetual ecstasy. You are bluer than indigo, frosted and tipped with iridescent clouds, a contrast, shuddering against the crisp green earth. Verdant and luxuriant, you become as I stretch out in your love.

How can you be so many things to me? What can I become in return? Till the day I die, I will get up each day to write all the poems in my heart for you, but I think I can never find enough words to express the love that I feel, I’m sealed by this emotion that such affection be in contemplate with your blessing.

The image of your face is an endless repetition in my mind. Your voice runs as a deep river in my soul. I imagine your touch and I feel as if a wind blows through me. I see you and pray that the unexpected will happen - that you will see me.

Is there a combination from the infinitesimal number of words that exist that could make you love me? Do you recognize me? I am the one that remains silent, a captive heart, wishing to be set free by your love.

What is it that comes after me, that in spite of the little taught that I have shared with you had lured me into a trap. Speak to me with words that your hearts possess. Speak to me like a noble waiting for your command.

May I be the person that you truly love?

I wait… for your coming.

21 March 2012

Today is simply an ordinary day, where the sun speaks of unending promise as I seat in front of my usual workplace my intellect roams beyond my habitual task, exhausted, emotionless and dumb (to think it’s only 8:35 in the morning).  I guess I’m just way too agitated with over size work and pending deadlines of current and future identified projects.  This is one of those days that my intellect and my stubbornness are fighting to conquer to rule over my world.  How I wish I can sing the lazy song by Bruno Mars but then again I have to drag myself back to reality: as always I am left with a definite choice, I suppose by now I should have been used with this situation where everything is but a routine, where expectations are high in spite of inconsistent health and unbalanced psychological mindset. I am aware that sometimes we need to pass the burning heat for us to refine ourselves and to weigh the value of one’s heights, besides all gold are tested to confirm its rate.     

Things had become as different as I age a date older; turning another chapter replicating the last digit of the calendar indicates that I’m aging. J  Time really flies and it’s showing me the speed of its phase, I don’t know whom is it chasing or is it just modestly showing me the significance of a season. I have done everything in a span of a year I speak, laughed, and cried. I take plunge to every emotions and intellect under the sun. God knows how I love its cycle and accepted the inevitable kaleidoscope of life.   Allow me to share a thing or two what the previous year had thought me.

Everything has a reason and a season, a person’s involvement in our life is an answered calling to meet with what you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They came to assist, deliver guidance, support and to aid you substantially, emotionally, or even spiritually. They came expectedly or unexpectedly because you simply allow them to enter the gate.

Sometimes they left or simply die for the season for us to grow and learn, nothing in this world is constant and consistency is consistently difficult.  They act up or out and force you to take a stand for us to realize if our necessity has been met, our desired fulfilled; simply because their work is done.

When People come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share. They bring forth unbelievable amount of bliss but take note like spring turns to summer and summer to fall, the season eventually ends, for nothing in this world is lasting but change.

Relationships are lessons and are built in solid ground. Our job is to acknowledge the lesson and put beyond words the things you have learned in all other relationships and areas in your life. See beyond the clairvoyant façade of love. Thank you for being part of my life…. 

19Mar2012 - The Birthdate of My Late Grandmom

I want to dedicate this day to the woman who made me first fall in love, someone whom I miss the most who made a huge impact in my life. My late Grandmom

                                                            Adieu

It was one hasty afternoon; the heaven is in havoc, sighting a great turmoil in the land; as my body is starting to freeze the temperature has drop like hell devouring my nerve with a cold sensation. My heart was blazing with fire as I fought the storm that is going to evade the world with rampage. I run as fast as harder as I can, until I came to a peculiar place that once was a part of my being; I paused in anticipation of whether taking the courage to step a foot on that old silly place. 

I stood near the pavement of the usual and familiar place, turning back the hands of time what could and had been. Each single moment is starting to drip piece by piece haunting my present.

In my own solitude, I gaze into an enchanted fallacy of childhood and fantasy. Mystery had poisoned my nerves with a tormented spell that deafens away memories, old memories that once lured me into the depths of yearning. 

I sigh, I breathe. Wishing all this things came into a nonexistence. The past can never be a future, but why is it all coming back to me now? Why is it that every time I live, I’m drawn back to my grave? My soul begins to cry, I’m missing her and I’m missing her big time.

Wordbliss

                                                Walk in the Clouds 

Dusk covers the air with grief and the morning breeze astonishes life in pain. Such pain occupies beyond the universe’s horizon. Its dim convey the feeling of sadness occupied my tormented heart with longing ness of dear soul. 

The battle has been fought within me; the weight of its burden is unbearable. I wanted to run and hide but infliction haunts me, hopelessly dying on the comfort of its misery. I can help myself but cry; tears have been my allies.

My grandmother pasted away. She means the world to me, she was my everything. She see through me and within me, in spite of the inequities she accepted me. She was the ear; my sponge on my struggle of becoming a man.

Late night of at around 10:00 pm she fooled a joke out me knowing that my heart was in fuss. You see! There’s nowhere else I run through every time I feel the burden had consumed me but only in her presence. Her eyes, her smile and her humility make her one of a kind. Yet! She never ceases to remind me to take care of my precious son, to my dismay it was our last conversation. And what hurts the most is that I was the last person whom she had spoken too… 

I love my Grandma far beyond anybody else in this world and losing her means losing my sanity in vain… Till this very day. I’m still in dilemma on why such a person like her would pass away… but in spite of it all I thank her for the memory…

I love you Lola…

Thanks for the memory…

Forever shall I treasure you…

And forever you shall live in my heart…

Though the only difference now is I could no longer feel your presence…

Wordbliss

                                              The Life Once Have

Each sunrise bring new beginning, a hope that beacon towards the future. It’s a pace that every soul partake, irregardless how huge the burden will be.

 

I was among the crowd that conceals my identity to the world, day by day my soul hover in elms deep. There was none to master and everyone came to no existence, just me and my restless heart. I refuse to live and be apart of anything, for it is in faith that scares are created and in faith you lose once thrust.

I had long been died. There’s no better sweet that lingers in the past, a past that haunts eternity with bliss. Memoirs of what life once had. She was far beyond beautiful; she was a perfection of grace. My mortal confinement that mould my identity but still she past away….

And I’m missing her on her very own birth date.

Happy birthday la….

And I love you so much…

You’re always in my heart….

Till we meet again…

Wordbliss

Myself Pronounce Epistle

You know, one of the things I like about this world, or at least I like about the way we’re presenting this world, is the truth that life in general is complicated and a battle between black and white. Literally in every good there is evil. It’s a reality, every friable compliments iniquity. It’s a menace!

Light is meaningful only in relation to darkness, and truth presupposes error. It is these mingled opposites which make peoples lives, which make it pungent, intoxicating. We only exist in terms of this conflict, in the zone where black and white clash.

The question is: Why are we still bemoaning about it? I bet by now you’ll have a preemptive perspective where this post is heading into. I guess I’m at my insanity to write over this captivated recognition of unending cycle of certainty. Please! Don’t get me wrong, myself and I is a no exception to this post. 

 

Why are we still too naïve about a certain condition when without doubt we can perforate through it: The truth is we gave to much significance of pessimism over positivity and being in that state is a complete locked down of one sided epitome indulging one’s self more in the unpleasant state rather than seeing the lesson and the beauty of it.  Allow me to spill ink through these thoughts, the truth is we gave to much weight on the negativism over the countless worth keeping memory or simply we take much account of our selfish needs from the fear of rejection, defeat and death, whether we like it or not our world is built in imperfection and so does it existed in men. Forgive me for posting this but I as well find it hard to pass through the needle in any given circumstances especially when our intellect and our emotions have its own choice of apprehending the inescapable.  

Here are facts that I have accumulated through my daily walks in life. (I wanted to categorize everything in details but I assume that you could simply speak out your thoughts in this matter, if it pleases you or you have violent reactions on this matter feel free to write down your comments or simply let your views be heard.)

1 When someone breaks your heart the most commonly exemplification would be: mourning, cursing, hatred, fear, unending questions, frustration, pity, and we can go on forever defining all those emotions, here is my thought on this thing:  Is pain that dominant to influence far beyond the joy that you both once shared? Fate oftentimes plays tricks on things that are unknown unexpectedly but the truth is sometimes losing simply over role everything that we once built. It sucks right?

2 On choosing from right and wrong. Our knowledge dictates us that in every action comes a reaction but why is it we allow misfortune to mock and direct our personal lives and still remain stubborn considering we are aware of its consequences. Just a piece of advice never point your fingers or blame anyone as a result of your remorse because in reality it will never happened if you haven’t choice the wrong path. 

Allow me to end this with a quote saying: Because of its tremendous solemnity death is the light in which great passions, both good and bad, become transparent, no longer limited by outward appearances.

 

Let us all say good and bad – this is the story of my life. Peace out!

Life Without You

Life without you is like a night without stars
or a never ending trip to far away Mars
Darkness prevails within everything I see
no more moonlight shining on the sea.

Ripples of angry waves on a stormy night
crashing on shore brings much fright
Rainbows after a storm never seems to rise
Pouring tears in my heart as it cries  

Life without you has no meaning for love
no angelic music can be heard above
Stars roam endlessly without twinkling in sight
no wish to be made to a star shining bright

If only we could go back to memories in time
I would forever claim your love as mine
Life on earth is never an everlasting state
but a test of time in meeting a soulmate

And here I am standing at the pavement

Seeking the things that once have lost

It sucks as deep as I contemplate

that I must face my very defeat.